All you need to know about NARCISSISTIC ABUSE
By Dena Falken
Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional abuse in which the abuser takes care of himself and can manipulate his partner’s behavior and emotional state with words and deeds. The effects of narcissistic abuse can vary depending on how long a person can stay in such types of relationships.
Narcissism is defined as a ‘disorganized fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity “or psychoanalytic as” erotic pleasure arising from admiration for one’s own physical or mental qualities, which is a normal state at the level of a child’s personality development. This term is used for normal self-absorption. Narcissism is extreme self-demand as it causes a person to ignore the needs of the people around them. While anyone can exhibit narcissistic behavior from time to time, true narcissists often reject others or their feelings. They also don’t understand how their behavior affects other people.
It’s important to understand that narcissism is a trait, but it can also be part of a major personality disorder. Not every narcissist has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), because narcissism is a spectrum. People who are on the higher end of the spectrum are classified as NPDs, but others, who still have narcissistic traits, may fall on the lower end of the narcissistic spectrum. People who show signs of narcissism can often be very charming and charismatic. Negative behavior usually does not manifest itself immediately, especially in relationships. People who display narcissism likes to surround themselves with people who feed their egos. They build relationships to consolidate their ideas about themselves, even if those relationships are superficial.
What Are The Narcissistic Characteristics?
Common narcissistic traits include a strong sense of self-esteem, experiencing fantasies of fame or glory, exaggerating one’s abilities, desire to admire, exploiting others, and lack of empathy.
However, the residual effects of abuse can be devastating when most people think of abuse—be it abuse by spouses, parents, etc.—tends to focus on physical abuse. Mental and emotional abuse can be more harmful, especially when the abuser is someone close to the abuser. Perhaps the worst kind of abuse comes into the hands of those who are so preoccupied with themselves that they don’t see or care about the results of their actions. This type of narcissistic abuse can be found in many different types of relationships, including parent-child relationships, spouses/important people, and even friendships. Emotional abuse by a narcissistic parent can be particularly insidious because it can affect a child’s ability to form stable relationships in the future. It is suggested that due to the lack of an adequate model for a healthy relationship, those who were emotionally abused in childhood tend to end up in relationships as adults.
Some Common Characteristics of Narcissists
- He has high self-esteem (e.g. exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).
- He is preoccupied with the ideas of unlimited success, power, splendor, beauty or ideal love.
- Believes that he is very “special” and unique and that it can only be understood or associated with other special or high-ranking persons (or institutions).
- It requires excessive admiration.
- He feels that he is right, i.e. disproportionate expectations of particularly favorable treatment or automatic fulfillment of their expectations.
- Interpersonal exploitation, i.e. using others to achieve their own ends.
- Lack of Empathy: Reluctance to acknowledge or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
- He is often jealous of others or thinks others are jealous of him.
- Demonstrates arrogant and arrogant behavior or attitude.
Having a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder is a one-way street. All attention and emotional support flows from the individual to the narcissist. These relationships are characterized by verbal and psychological abuse, belittling, complaining, and even physical abuse. Daffodils believe they can’t go wrong, so the other partner is responsible for all the problems in the relationship – even the day-to-day problems. If a mistake is made, the partner is to blame.
Victims of narcissistic rapists often exhibit similar characteristics. The most common is low self-esteem, often accompanied by an inability to make independent decisions. They have been told for years that they are not good enough, they are not smart enough, and they are not good enough. Over time, they adopt these negative statements. They doubt their own abilities. This makes them more dependent on the narcissistic rapist, which creates a cycle of interdependence. Those who have suffered from narcissistic hands may exhibit a number of emotional and physical symptoms that are difficult to attribute to a relationship because they are the result of the stress they face on a daily basis.
It Includes: confusion, dissociation, poor eating and sleeping habits and even signs of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Although difficult, it is possible to escape the circle of narcissistic abuse. The first step must be to accept that no one deserves constant narcissistic humiliation and demands. Once self-confidence returns to a healthy level, it is easier to make decisions without the intervention of bullying. Obviously, this is an extremely difficult process that may require help from outside, including professionals. Unfortunately, it is common for narcissistic rapists to limit their partners’ access to others, especially those who express opinions that run counter to their grandiose feelings of self.
Types of Narcissism
There are two different types of narcissism under which narcissistic behavior can fall. These two species may have common characteristics, but they come from different children’s experiences. These two types also dictate different ways people will behave in relationships.
- Grandiose Narcissism
People with this behavior were probably considered superior or superior to others as children. These expectations may accompany them as they mature. They tend to brag and be elitist. Those with grandiose narcissism are aggressive, dominant and exaggerate their importance. They are very trusting and not sensitive.
- Vulnerable Narcissism
This behavior is often the result of neglect or abuse in childhood. People with this behavior are much more sensitive. Narcissistic behavior helps protect them from feelings of inadequacy. Although they feel inferior and superior to others, they feel offended or frightened when others do not treat them as exceptional.
Signs of Narcissism
Narcissism is still being studied and researched because many daffodils and people with NPD do not seek treatment. However, there are some common characteristics of people with narcissistic behavior that you may know.
- Feeling Entitled
A common feature of people with narcissism is the belief that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. They believe that others must obey their wishes and that the rules do not apply to them.
- Manipulative Behavior
Another common characteristic of narcissism is manipulative or controlling behavior. The narcissus will try to please and impress you at first, but in the end, his own needs will always come first. When interacting with other people, narcissism will try to keep people at a certain distance in order to maintain control. They can even use others to get something for themselves.
- The Need For Admiration
One of the most common signs of narcissism is the constant need for praise or admiration. People with this behavior need to feel confirmed by others and often boast or exaggerate their achievements in order to be recognized. They also like to feel valued to increase their ego. Ms Dena Falken has experienced this first hand with a customer.
- Lack Of Compassion
Lack of empathy is another sign of narcissism. This means that the narcissist is unwilling or unable to empathize with other people’s needs, desires, or feelings. It also makes it harder for them to take responsibility for their own behavior.
- Arrogance
People with narcissistic behavior already consider themselves superior to others, so they may become rude or abusive if they do not receive the treatment they think they deserve. Even if they consider themselves superior, they can speak or act rudely towards those they consider inferior. “Again, a customer can be very arrogant”, Ms Dena Falken states
Tips For Dealing With A Narcissistic Personality
We often use the word narcissistic to describe a person who is egocentric and lacks empathy. However, it is important to understand that narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a legitimate mental illness that requires diagnosis by mental health professionals.
However, people can show some narcissistic traits without NPD. They can be:
- Have an inflated sense of self
- They need constant praise
- use of others
- not recognizing or not caring about the needs of others
To make matters worse, people with NPD or narcissistic tendencies are often very sensitive to criticism despite high self-esteem.
Here are some practical ways to deal with someone who has NPD or narcissistic tendencies – plus a few tips for recognizing when it’s time to move on.
- See Them as They Really Are
When they want it, people with narcissistic personalities are very good at throwing spells. You may be drawn to their great ideas and promises. This makes them especially popular in the workplace. But before you get involved, look at how they treat people when they’re not “on stage”. If you catch them lying, manipulating, or obviously disrespecting others, there’s no reason to assume they won’t do the same to you.
Despite what the narcissistic personality may say, your wants and needs probably don’t matter to them. And if you try to solve this problem, you may encounter resistance.
The first step in dealing with someone with a narcissistic personality is simply accepting that this is what they are – you can’t do much to change that.
- Break the Spell And Stop Focusing On It
When there is a narcissistic personality in your business, attention seems to be drawn in your direction. This is intentional – whether it is negative or positive attention, people with narcissistic personalities work hard to stay in the spotlight. You will soon be leaning towards this tactic and postponing your own needs to meet them.
If you have been waiting for a break in your attention-seeking behavior, this may never happen. No matter how much you adapt your life to their needs, it will never be enough.
When dealing with a narcissistic personality, don’t let it attack your sense of self or define your world. It depends on you too. Remind yourself regularly of your strengths, desires, and goals.
Take control and take some time for yourself. Take care of yourself first and remember that it is not your job to fix them.
- Speak for Yourself
There are times when ignoring something or just leaving is the appropriate answer – choose quarrels, right? But it really depends on the relationship. For example, dealing with a boss, parent, or spouse may require different strategies than a relationship with a colleague, brother, or sister, or child. Some people with a narcissistic nature like to force others to crouch. If so, try not to get upset or upset, as this will only encourage them to continue.
If this is someone you would like to be with, then you are bound to talk to yourself. Try to do it in a calm and gentle way. You have to tell them how their words and behavior affect your life. Be specific and consistent about what is not acceptable and how you expect to be treated. But be prepared that they may not understand – or they won’t care.
- Set Clear Boundaries
A person with a narcissistic personality is often quite preoccupied with himself. They may think they have the right to come and go as they please, rummage through your personal affairs, or tell you how you should feel. They can give you unwanted advice and credit you for the things you have done. Or you are forced to discuss private matters in public.
They may also have little sense of personal space, so they tend to push too many boundaries. He doesn’t even see them often. So you need to be very clear about the boundaries that are important to you. Why should its consequences be important? Because someone with a narcissistic personality often starts to pay attention when things touch him personally. Make sure it is not an empty threat. Discuss the consequences only if you are willing to do them as indicated. Otherwise, they won’t believe you next time.
- Wait For Him To Leave
If you confront someone with a narcissistic personality, you can expect them to respond. Once you close the mouth and set the boundaries, they can return with some of their requirements. They may also try to manipulate you into feeling guilty or believing that you are acting irrationally and in control. They could play a game of compassion.
Be prepared to stand on your own two feet. If you back off, they won’t take you seriously next time.
- Remember That You Are Not to Blame
It is unlikely that someone with a narcissistic personality disorder will admit a mistake or take responsibility for hurting him. Instead, they tend to project their own negative behavior on you or someone else. You may be tempted to keep the peace by accepting guilt, but you do not have to bow down to save your ego.
You know the truth. Don’t let anyone take it from you.
- Find a Support System
If you can’t avoid a person, try to build healthy relationships and support a network of people. Spending too much time in a dysfunctional relationship with someone with a narcissistic personality can make you emotionally exhausted. Restore old friendships and try to grow new ones. You spend more time with your family. If your social circle is smaller than you would like, try attending a course where you will discover a new hobby. Be active in your community or volunteer for a local charity. Do something that will help you meet more people with whom you will feel good.
